I promised myself not to look at this photo while I'm out of town. But then I need to stay stronger. When at times I get this feeling, I pray to God and ask for His love to strengthen me but I guess looking at these picture would ease the longing. So I had no choice but to open this file and seek for strength. I was asked a couple of times why parents work so hard. As I always say, I don't work hard for my kids. I work for myself. I need to be strong and provide my needs so I can provide the needs of my children. I need to complete myself first before completing the needs of others. Just like love, you cannot give what you do not have.
How many times did we really have a real conversation with our parents when we were kids? Real conversation that does not involve money or material affairs. How many times did we really say I love you to our love ones, our parents? our siblings? our family? our friends? Do we mean it when we say it? Life is too short to waste for arguments and petty fights. This reminds me why every time I end a conversation with my love ones on the phone, I would always say I love you. The kids and Carlo would do the same. We need to provide the needs of our children but what is more important is the love and care that they need. I hope parents know that. It is not about the money or the material stuff. It's about time, care and affection. It is to know that you are there during their graduation, their birthdays and their special moments. It is not about the latest mobile phone or the brand new computer. Sometimes, we miss what's more important. Small details should not supersede the large detail because these are the building blocks of a larger picture. We should not forget the basic foundation of relationships. Then I checked the visa bulletin, found out its February 22, 2006. (Way too near my priority date) Opened my email with letters and mail from friends and family. This home sickness gives me the feeling of so near yet so far. Home sickness can kill literally. It can put you down in an instant. Technology is amazing but nothing beats the reality of hugging them and seeing them in reality. Early morning trip again tomorrow. I better go home now.
